SMALL GESTURES

We had finished our salad and were waiting for our main course to arrive: steak for me and pickerel for Tammy. We weren’t engrossed in conversation for the moment but, at this stage in our relationship, we have grown quite comfortable being quiet together, letting our minds wander where they might or simply shifting into neutral and relaxing into the moment.

It was a Friday evening and, as we have made it our habit for many years now, we were treating ourselves to a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant. It started as an end of our work week “aaahhhhh” when we were both employed in Winnipeg, continued when we moved to Courtenay, and persisted even after we both retired. The café choices here in Stonewall are fewer and less upscale but the chef at our usual spot is exceptional and the atmosphere is pleasingly homey. Like church on Sunday morning, our “Friday Nights” have become a steady beat in the rhythm of our lives.

We often have wine with our dinner but this time I had asked for Coke instead (“Will Pepsi be OK?” the server asked and I said, “Yes, that will be fine.”) So, our salad course completed and comfortably enjoying the lull in between, I was pulled out of my reverie by a slight movement to my left. The server was placing a second glass of Pepsi on our table. She had noticed my first glass was empty and replaced it without asking. It was a simple gesture of hospitality and I was grateful. In a small way – an almost insignificant way, you might say – it made me feel noticed and cared for and just a bit special.

We are living through troubled times these days. The pandemic persists causing so much suffering as a result, with some people acting out in bizarre ways. A power monger eerily similar to others down through the pages of history is creating havoc in Eastern Europe. (Has history taught us nothing? Has human consciousness not evolved just a bit over the ages?) The consequences of climate change push in on us. The imperative of finding a just way of being a nation and redressing past wrongs challenges us. Maybe there are no times that aren’t troubled in some way but these are the big stories dominating the headlines and inflicting themselves on our world and our lives now. Maybe by the time you read this, some of this will have settled itself. I hope so. I also hope that other BIG things haven’t come along to take over the headlines.

Through it all, we carry worry with us as we go about our daily business. Strange dreams infiltrate our sleep. We talk about these things over and over again in almost every conversation we have along our way. We accommodate ourselves as best we can to the restrictions placed on our lives.

And we wonder what we can do to make a difference.

Some of us may be in a position to make a big difference but most of us don’t have that opportunity or influence or aptitude. But each of us can do the little things that help to maintain some sense of rhythm and balance and normalcy amidst it all – keeping the humane in humanity. Tammy and I are grateful that we can still enjoy a dinner out on Friday nights. A server takes a moment to look around the café to notice who needs attention. A neighbour drops by with a couple of freshly baked buns still warm from the oven. A distant friend acts on the impulse to phone – or even just to text – to check in. Maybe something comes to mind for you that has made a small but encouraging difference for you amidst everything else that is going on these days. Maybe just such an opportunity will arise for you to pass it forward.

Life as we observe it is a series of big events that make the news and fill up the chapters of history books. Life as we live it is a series of small moments that seem insignificant at the time but which add shape and colour and texture and quality to our lives over time and to the lives of those around us. Small gestures – gestures of kindness, of affirmation, of caring, of helpfulness – can make a big difference. They can help ground us when the ground beneath us is shifting. They can help to sustain hope when worry threatens to overwhelm us. They can bring flashes of joy and gladness into the gathering gloom around us. Small gestures remind us that there are still kind people in this world and that life can still be good despite it all.

Maybe these kids can’t clean up the whole wide world
but they can help pick up litter along a walkway near their day care.